in memory of...

this is a blog on many different thoughts that i had, and things this past week. it might be a little choppy but it is not ment to be one continuous story with a lot of details.

this past sunday afternoon i received a phone call that i had been expecting for quite some time. my grandfather had passed away. despite the possibility that it might happen, it did not take away the shock that i felt. i thought i knew how i would handle it but all i could do was sit and think about papa.

i have always been close to papa. we have may shared stories of fishing, playing, riding the tractor and being in his garden. when i was younger i would go weeks at a time to go visit papa and gram. it was always a time that i looked forward to.

we took the flight to maine which was longer than anticipated (and by the way there are no more benevolent prices for airplane tickets) but we finally arrived at my grams house at 11:30pm. my gram was already asleep so talking to her would have to wait for tomorrow.

the next morning it seemed that everyone was in relatively good moods talking about what would take place that day with viewing hours and a meeting with the pastor.

we planned a service with the pastor as well as told stories of papa's life. it was good to here some stories of him that i have never heard before. one of which showed his prankster mentality. he put a plastic fly in someone's oatmeal. it got me thinking about how funny my grandfather was. he was always telling some sort of joke or pulling some sort of prank. the service would be full of music, mini-homily (given by me,) a special moments (an open mike) and a message by the pastor.

the first time i viewed my grandfather. all i could think is that it looked nothing like him. there was something missing. and then i figured of course there is a lot missing. it might be flesh but what makes the human is the soul and it was no longer with him. of course he looks different.
the viewing that day led to comments about papa like:

"he was a good man"
"at church every time the door opened"
"spiritual wisdom"
"love for people"

but the biggest comment of the day was how much of a jokester my papa was.

the next day at the funeral i spoke shortly on how overjoyed the disciples were when they saw the resurrected Christ. when they saw his scars and how overjoyed papa must be at that moment.

my favorite moment though were the special moments. people told different stories about papa. one of them was my mom's roomate in college. she talked about being a new christian when she went to the univ of maine at farmington and how much of an influence "boots" was on her in her early walk.

"boots" is a nickname my father earned when he used to play soccer with the boys ministry at his church. he wore his steel toe work boots and bruised many a shins playing the game.

other stories talked about clam digging, how he was more than a friend... he was a buddy, how meghann (one of my cousins) would never fall asleep in his parents arms but could in papa's, his dedication, his friends and falling asleep in a middle of a lake while taking (jed) another cousin fishing.

we then drove to the graveside funeral which is a story in itself because papa went there in a casket only later to be moved to be cremated. the pastor here said something i really like. "everything mortal of ernest would be buried." this goes back to the idea that i stated earlier no soul to be buried.

later the american flag was presented to my grandma. i wondered why this was because my papa never served. not that he didnt want to though. he really wanted to but he had a bad heart so was never accepted into the military. i thought that this was a good gesture by my uncle who spent 20 years in the navy. because at times papa would talk about how he wished he could have served with his friends.

as we got back in the van the song on the radio was todd agnews version of amazing grace. it was really quite fitting for the moment. just like the whole week. it was nice to be able to mourn, cope and eventually celebrate the life that papa lived and the life that he is now experiencing in the presence of Jesus.