toys r us kid

it seems to me lately that i have responsibility. i get up every morning at the sound of an alarm clock, making me realize that i have somewhere i need to be. other wise i wouldn't use an alarm clock. i wake up in order to go to my job, a job that i love, but yet still a responsibility. i go to this job (youth pastor at pulaski wesleyan church) for more than a paycheck. although the paycheck is necessary. i need it to pay the bills. another responsibility. this past december i took 22 teens to boston and i was responsible for there welfare and to bring them back alive. i am married and need to be there to take care or annd respect my wife and love her as Christ loved the church. a responsibility that is hardest for me not because i do not love my wife but because Christ had a perfect love.

im starting to realize i am not a toys r us kid anymore. even though i still like some of the toys. i am realizing my parents are not going to be the ones to purchase the toy for me anymore. i am not sure why i am realizing this now, because for the most part i have been on my own the last 6 1/2 years. what i am realizing though as much as i have grown and changed i am still a kid.

think about it though. i think adults are just kids in a bigger harrier body. we still enjoy games. in fact it seems that i play more games now then i ever did when i was a kid. we still love to be the center of attention. admit it, deep down inside you really want to be noticed and appreciated. we still get jealous and complain about another indivual if they are the ones receiving notice. we still jump to conclusions before we know all the facts. we become emotional when things are not going our way. we are selfish, greedy and prideful. we cannot control our desires even though we know it is possible.

now along with the bad side of a kid there are some good things that i hold onto about being a child. i like being carefree, not always being weighed down by a watch. remember when you were a kid and the day just passed so quickly and before you knew it you were late for dinner. now i am never late for dinner. kids also dont mind asking questions. they dont care if it will sound dumb or that they didnt know the answer. it is just common place for them not to know the answer. they admit when sorry and are very forthcoming about what they think.

all these can be good and bad. but i wonder what actually seperates us from being a child. is it the idea of responsibility or is it more the idea of age. is there any limit to when we have to stop being children. or is it just when you have become old enough that you have a hard time pretending anymore. it was so easy pretending to be in the nba or fighting a war. but things change and the pretending has become more of a reality for us. we realize that we have bills to pay and children to feed (well you have children to feed.)

we talk about having a child like faith and making belief so easy. but now as adults we have gotten into theology and apologetics to prove to us God is in a fact real. faith is not what it used to be, but it hasnt changed, we have. faith has now become more about perserverance rather then hope. sure we still hope but now it is more along the line that we have enough faith at times that we know it will happen and yet at others we hold onto just enough of the basics where we become a child again and just believe