calling

i grew up going to camps and youth conferences that would express the need for people to be called into the ministry. every year no matter who the speaker was it seemed that he would give an alter call for all those who had felt a call into the ministry. at the time i really didnt understand the concept of being called into the ministry. were some people more important that God wanted them. was i less of a christian because i didnt feel that call. i had friends go up. i was happy for them, but in a way was glad it wasnt me who God was calling.

fast forward a few years. i had just finished my first year of classes full of general education courses that all students must take at a private christian college. one of those classes was called world changers, a brand new class where we as freshmen in the fall of 1999 were the introductory class to this positive, uplifting class that we can and eventually will change the world.

i didnt understand at that time what God would be callling me too, but as a freshman studying business i thought it might be as a layperson and would be able to support missionaries and other ministries because of all the money that i would make. that would definately change a lot of people, maybe not the whole world but atleast the community that i lived in.

that summer i took a position as a lifeguard at the iwu pool and was also asked to be a sponsor at a local youth group. i said sure and really enjoyed the time on wednesdays. it started to become a passion of mine, something i would look forward to and would start to schedule things around what the youth were doing.

i found myself at camp again that summer like i had many times as a high schooler only now i was the adult with the teens but yet i felt drawn to the message like dr. lo was speaking directly to me. it didnt matter if there were 500 or so others there but at that moment in time i felt that i was the only one he was speaking to. and then it happened the inevitable if you feel like you are called to the ministry "come on down you are the next contestant on the pastor for life." before i knew it i was at the alter knowing that i wanted to give my life to the direction of Christ. i had felt the call. i had finally understood what all my other friends had felt like when they received the call years before. i finally felt that God wanted me.

it has now been 7 years and i have worked in youth ministry ever since. 3 years as a youth sponsor at the same church and then the last four as a youth pastor in two local church settings. but now as i reflect on that time 7 years ago i stil ask and question myself if it really was the call to ministry that God was looking for. i am sure that God is excited every time a person realizes their "call" but i really believe that God is looking more for the surrender of that person then the realizing of a persons vocation. it was that willingness that God wanted from me so many times. he wanted me to be obedient. he wants me more to be a fully devoted follower of Him. He wants me sold out and to live my life as a sacrifice.

i think this is so much more important then the emphasis that so many people put on the call to ministry. i think we as a church are more excited when someone feels their call to the ministry but not as excited as when someone is called to work with the mentally handicapped or as a business man. that same person could be more humble, loving and willing to serve, and he or she might actually do more to change the world.

what happens when someone who feels the call but really isnt fitted for the position. everyone thanks God at the time but what is set in place for him to actually confirm that. what if this person goes to a bible college because he feels the call but the professors are not really sure about that same call. many people that i went to school are no longer serving in churches or might not even still be following Christ. were those people called to ministry or did they not make the cut because they should not have been there in the first place. was it satan attacking telling them that they were not good enough or was it churches just not hiring them because they really were not good enough.

i am not sure but i have been dwelling on this quite a bit. i have even been questioning to some point my call. but i believe that God is still calling me to follow Him in ministry. for now that means grad school and a volunteer ministry position. later it could be back in the church, maybe a college setting or an inner city ministry but i do know that he will always be calling me to follow Him.