"winning" on the road

maybe you watched the super bowl last night. in the world's eyes there was one winner and one loser. only one team can win... right?

i find it funny to hear all these kids on sports teams now not keeping score. they are being taught that all are winners. and no matter how they play they win. but the kids no which team is better. they knew who really won.

i remember my first year in little league we won 2 games out of 15 games. that by any standard is not good, but i found out what defeat felt like. but i learned that year that did not need to be upset about losing. the other team was obviously better. i learned to be a good loser.

but just because you stink doesnt mean you cant develop, grow and train to become better. the next two years we improved and by the time our team was together 4 years we were winning every game, not just winning but absolutely destroying the other teams, usually by the mercy rule. one thing though, we knew what defeat felt like so we did not rub it in on the other team, we went through the line and said good game. we learned to be good grace filled winners.

this past year has been a rough one for jenny and i, with the loss of my job. it was pretty rough. we struggled and at times still struggle with what happened. today marks 7 months since it happened.

i found a job pretty quickly working with people who have mental illness with a big percentage who struggle with substance abuse. the large majority have been homeless and without our organization and the funding of taxpayers would not have housing now. our goal is to help them transition into living a successful life.

the people come from all walks of life. some were very successful had great lives and had a bad stretch in which they are still trying to rebound from. they have spent a good portion of their life winning and now are on the losing side.

others have had history of abuse, going from foster home to group home to being kicked out of the system at 18. in many ways they have spent their life losing. i have learned a lot from each and every one of them.

winning for some of them comes one day at a time. we have celebrated a couple people being sober for 18 months. while others we have been ecstatic when they are able to go a week. for others we are ecstatic when someone cleans their apartment without being prompted. while other we are excited that they get out of bed for more than 4 hours that day. each person is in their own place in learning to be successful. last week someone road to bus for the first time in 2 years. it was an exciting day for me.

a couple weeks ago i went to a seminar that discussed strength based growth. you grow by focusing on what you are good at. when you win at this, it builds up your confidence. it shows you are able to grow and be successful at one thing or the other. when you master one thing then you start building another.

so last night when i, a big fan of the Patriots saw them lose a heart breaking, gut wrenching game and my friends saw that i was pretty calm and not upset, they asked me. "i thought you were a big fan. why arent you more upset." i paused and smiled its only a game... and unless you are a true sincere Giants fan, my team did a lot better than your team. :)