The newest Richardson

We first met Tedy James Matthew Richardson on March 28th. Jenny received a call from Amy Jennings our social worker at Bethany Christian Services. She said the birth mother had the baby at 3pm. We were in Iowa City by 5pm. He was 7 lbs and 5 oz and 20 inches tall. We were ecstatic but still unsure because still no official adoption plan had been made yet. Little did we know the journey that the next few weeks would bring nor the back story of the birth parents that would make this journey of adoption a little different than most... Tedy was put into interim foster care with a great family in North Liberty. They took great care of him and were very flexible allowing us to come to the house and be with our potential son. They did not want to call him "baby" so they called him Matthew, which is now his second middle name. Each visit we grew closer and closer with Tedy. We were able to feed him and change his diapers. As time went on Tedy became more aware of what was going on. He started to smile, and stuck out his tongue often. He would even chuckle when I would stick out my tongue as well. Grandma and Grandpa Steiner visited him shortly after Easter, and Grammie and Grampie Richardson met him a week later. But still no adoption plan had been made

The birth mom eventually signed the release of parental rights, and told the social workers that she would convince the birth father to sign as well. Days became weeks. Jenny and I would visit as regularly as we could. It became harder to visit without growing attached to him. Finally on May 23 at 9 weeks old the birth Father signed the papers. While it has been a hard journey for us, I cannot imagine what it was like for the birth parents. I cannot fathom doing the same. So while it was a hard 9 weeks for us. I am sure it was harder for them. Today we are not upset about the time we missed with him but celebrate the coming years that we will be able to be a Father and Mother.

the road of infertility

When I was a child there was a rumor that Mountain Dew lowered sperm counts. Maybe you heard the same rumor as well. I am not sure how this rumor was started but there was at least a short period of my life that I did not drink Mountain Dew. Obviously this stigma created an idea of in my head that I should stay away. Today I rarely drink soda but when I do, I drink the Dew. Fast forward to September of 2010, Jenny and I were sitting in a Doctor's office and were told that I was infertile and the chance of ever having biological children would be virtually impossible. It was something that deep down we already knew was a possibility. 3.5 years previously we decided had decided that we would attempt to have children but went with a "no rush, but it will happen when it happens." During this time I was also in Seminary so it did not seem that we needed to rush anything. But after that period of time we needed some answers. Was it me, was it her? What was the reason? Today we are in the process of adoption and have been on the waiting list for 7 months. This is something we feel strongly about and did not even attempt the other possibilities of fertility treatments, the doctor believed the chances were slim the treatments would work. Yesterday, I was scrolling through facebook statuses and noticed that this is infertility awareness week. Jenny and I receive a newsletter from Stepping Stones a ministry of Bethany Christian Services the agency we are adopting from. Infertility is rarely talked about. The American Pregnancy Association says 2,000,000 couples face infertility in one way or the other. People feel shame because of "the situation" they find themselves in. I am not saying that I am ecstatic about this but I have learned to cope because of the community I am in. If I were to hold this to myself it would eat me up inside. Do not feel ashamed, you are not alone.

"winning" on the road

maybe you watched the super bowl last night. in the world's eyes there was one winner and one loser. only one team can win... right?

i find it funny to hear all these kids on sports teams now not keeping score. they are being taught that all are winners. and no matter how they play they win. but the kids no which team is better. they knew who really won.

i remember my first year in little league we won 2 games out of 15 games. that by any standard is not good, but i found out what defeat felt like. but i learned that year that did not need to be upset about losing. the other team was obviously better. i learned to be a good loser.

but just because you stink doesnt mean you cant develop, grow and train to become better. the next two years we improved and by the time our team was together 4 years we were winning every game, not just winning but absolutely destroying the other teams, usually by the mercy rule. one thing though, we knew what defeat felt like so we did not rub it in on the other team, we went through the line and said good game. we learned to be good grace filled winners.

this past year has been a rough one for jenny and i, with the loss of my job. it was pretty rough. we struggled and at times still struggle with what happened. today marks 7 months since it happened.

i found a job pretty quickly working with people who have mental illness with a big percentage who struggle with substance abuse. the large majority have been homeless and without our organization and the funding of taxpayers would not have housing now. our goal is to help them transition into living a successful life.

the people come from all walks of life. some were very successful had great lives and had a bad stretch in which they are still trying to rebound from. they have spent a good portion of their life winning and now are on the losing side.

others have had history of abuse, going from foster home to group home to being kicked out of the system at 18. in many ways they have spent their life losing. i have learned a lot from each and every one of them.

winning for some of them comes one day at a time. we have celebrated a couple people being sober for 18 months. while others we have been ecstatic when they are able to go a week. for others we are ecstatic when someone cleans their apartment without being prompted. while other we are excited that they get out of bed for more than 4 hours that day. each person is in their own place in learning to be successful. last week someone road to bus for the first time in 2 years. it was an exciting day for me.

a couple weeks ago i went to a seminar that discussed strength based growth. you grow by focusing on what you are good at. when you win at this, it builds up your confidence. it shows you are able to grow and be successful at one thing or the other. when you master one thing then you start building another.

so last night when i, a big fan of the Patriots saw them lose a heart breaking, gut wrenching game and my friends saw that i was pretty calm and not upset, they asked me. "i thought you were a big fan. why arent you more upset." i paused and smiled its only a game... and unless you are a true sincere Giants fan, my team did a lot better than your team. :)

Superbowl thoughts and predictions

The Patriots are in there fifth Superbowl in eleven years and I am excited. Even more excited then the previous four games. Maybe it is because we have cable for the first time in these five games and I am able to take in more of the interviews and different stories that are on. I love hearing the stories of the individual athletes and where they have come from to overcome adversity.

A few years ago they announced the Superbowl was going to be hosted by Indy. We were living there at the time. Everybody knew that Indy and New England is always one of the funnest games of the year because of the competitive nature between the two teams and the two best quarterbacks in the league. (Brady/Pats have won 9 of the 14 games) and one of the Pats losses was when Brady tore his ACL with Matt Cassel playing QB. But even back then I thought it would be awesome for the Pats to win the Superbowl in Indy, and that hope has a chance to come to fruition this Sunday.

I have heard that Las Vegas favors New England by three points, and that Las Vegas is usually correct, the house always wins. All the commentators are picking the Giants. They say the matchups favor the Giants. The two factors that the Patriots have are Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. They have won more than any other quarterback/ coach combo than any in history. The Patriots game plays change from game to game and I would like to add from quarter to quarter. They react better than any other team out there.

Commentators talk a lot about the week 9 loss to the Giants, but what they do not mention is that was the last loss the Patriots experienced this season.

Commentators talk a lot about the Patriots being 31st in yards allowed on defense but they forget to mention that they only allow 21.4 pts a game which puts them 15th on the team list. Does not make them seem near as bad a defense does it. The Patriots have an excellent red zone defense that makes teams settle for field goals.

The Patriots have come a long way as a team. They have come through most of their injuries the offensive line is finally healthy for the first time since half way through the regular season. Benjarvus is a stud who has never fumbled (knock on wood). The secondary has made some amazing plays including the game winning swipe from a receiver in the end zone in the closing minute of the AFC championship. They have been building their confidence. Gronk will play and have an amazing game. Their will be surprises like the Patriots always have.

This will be a close game, and people from our small group will probably see a new side of me as I yell at the tv and pig out on wings and pigs in a blanket. We will laugh at some commercials and question what is that advertising with others. The food will be good, the company will be fun and The Patriots will win this game 24-21.

making assumptions along the road

it is possible that you may have heard what "assume"ing something can do. it has been something that i have heard throughout the years. but i do not want to assume that you have heard of it, so let me explain. if you assume something it might make an ass of u and me. i am not sure when i first heard this quote but it has always been a reoccurring statement that i hear on a regular basis.

assuming can be put in many categories, but the one i think of most is judging. by looking at someone and basing your first opinion on them just by how they look could be considered assuming. i remember that youtube video of the homeless guy that had a deep baritone speaking voice. by looking at him you would have never assumed that he had that voice. maybe you saw it. the video received national recognition, but maybe you didn't. i dont want to assume that you did.

the past few weeks i have been in a few different churches, i also listen to sermons on my ipod while working out. i have heard at least 4 different pastors say during the sermon usually while turning to a specific scripture, "i am sure you have all heard this story before" or this is "you all know this."

so i sit there and wonder
a. the pastors must know their people very, very well. all of them have been attending this church for a long time. no one new is sitting in the pew.
b. do pastor's think everyone who attends church has all of scripture memorized? or
c. how many people in the church right now are totally missing something because the pastor is assuming that everyone knows this scripture and does not want to do a little historical context or background on the scripture. are there people sitting in the dark on what could be a very enlightening message but instead feel lost and do not really understand what the pastor is saying.

just a thought. what do you think. i really am curious. i am sure there is no intentional thought by the pastor when they say this. i have sermons posted on this blog and i probably have said it myself. so i am not trying to point fingers at one pastor. i really just want peoples lives to be open to Word of God.

needtobreathe, able

If you have not purchased the new album from needtobreathe the reckoning, you should. this is my favorite song from the album.

There's a host of hurts we come across
None of which alike
From the air inside the birthing room
To the darkness where we die
Though I feel I'm just as strong as any man I know
I'm not able on my own
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/n/needtobreathe/able.html ]
Carry round the secrets
Only heaven knows
Crawl into our darkened rooms where only victims go
Though I feel I'm strong enough to carry all this load
I'm not able on my own

All my actions, false or true
Selfish motives I will use
We were born with knives in hand
Trained to kill our fellow man
If we're not better than the rest
How will children do their best
Find your patience, find your truth
Love is all we have to lose

I'm not able on my own

Jesus found in transition.

I never thought I would be on this road, but when I was fired on July 6th I really did not have a choice. I had to find a job. I applied to places in Cedar Rapids to fulfill the short time need of finances, as well as churches for longer term planning. I ended up taking a position with a company who works with people with mental illness. They are given housing (which many were on the street before), most of them live off of $200 of food stamps and $70, most of the $70 is spent on tobacco. Many of the residents have schizophrenia, bi-polar, or depression as well as battling with drug or alcohol addiction...

AND JESUS IS PRESENT. Do not get me wrong, this is not a "Christian organization." In fact many times I find myself questioning the motivation of the organization. This is why I am leaving the name of the organization of this blog.

My job in many ways feels like what I was doing when I was on duty as an RA. I go on rounds talking to the residents and encouraging them to clean up their apartment, or even themselves. We work goals, some of them might be as simple as to stay on their medication, or to attend AA, I remind them of the doctor's appointments or meetings that they might have and help them with the bus route (this is actually the hardest since I have never rode the bus myself.)

But among the goals of one of the residents is to be more Christ like, she wants to read the Bible on a regular basis. And of course it is my job to encourage her to reach this goal. Of course I am willing to help. In our conversations you can really see her heart of having, wanting, and continuing a relationship with Jesus Christ.

So I ask her about her journey, her travels along the road with mental illness. She talks about her depression and no matter how bad it becomes that she focuses on Christ. She is not expecting deliverance from this illness but she sees Christ working through it despite what she is going through.

This past Saturday I arrive at work and I notice her and a few other residents sitting on a blanket. I see a few others setting up chairs and another person with his walker going in the direction of the blanket. I ask what is going on as there are now 5-6 people there. She replies that they are going to have Bible study and asks if I would be able to attend and help lead the discussion since she knows I am a pastor. I said I would love to.

I come back to the group after checking into work and making sure everything is taken care of. The bible study is taken from the Daily Bread, the devotional that is used all over the world and one that is very simple devotion. The topic of the day was, When bad becomes worse...

AND JESUS IS PRESENT, during this Bible study. People are sharing things that they have gone through. The passage shared was from Exodus when the Israelites find themselves as slaves to the Egyptians. They make bricks with the provided straw, then the Egyptians decide they do not want to provide the straw any more and force the Israelites to make the same amount of bricks and have to gather the straw on their own.

For many of the residents they know what being a slave is like. Many have hit rock bottom. They could not imagine life getting any worse. But they know there is something to this guy named Jesus.

And even though I am on this road that I never expected to find myself on, even though I have taken a dramatic cut in pay I am finding Jesus in transition. I still do not understand where this road is leading I know God will take care of us, because even though the last couple months have been new for us, God's love has been abundant in his followers. Many of you have been praying for us or even sending us some help financially. They are both greatly appreciated and we are so thankful for the friends we have. God bless you all.

dallas willard's view on porn.

i really never planned to have two posts in a row focusing on porn. but i came across this article on facebook so i thought i would share it with you here as well.

porn... an epidemic

ed stetzer recently wrote an article on porn check out the facts.

on the road

no one ever said life is easy. or at best no one who has actually lived life has said life is easy. along the road we meet up with different obstacles. we could have never predicted these obstacles because we cannot and would not want to know about all the good and bad things that will happen. sure it would be nice to know what will happen around each of life's turns but it would take away the surprise. the surprise is what makes life worth living, even if it was not a good surprise.

throughout scripture many things have happened while on the road, and in the coming weeks i will be writing about them here. the first road is very familiar to a lot of us. the damascus road (acts 9) was a life changing moment in the life of paul. Christ revealed himself to paul in a life altering way. along the road for paul the traveling was not easy, in fact paul was blinded by his experience for three days. but paul was never the same again. he now knew the Christ. and when we meet Christ he will change us into the people that he needs us to be.


like i said, the journey on the road might be tough. it might have bumps, pot holes, we could break down or get in a wreck. but those possibilities of obstacles along the way are all worth it. the obstacles should not keep us away from the road. but only make us more aware of what could happen along the road, and keep us fighting to stay on the road.

before paul had this experience on the road to damascus, he was a pharisee. he knew the Word of God but did not let it change his heart. paul was a murderer of christians. a person full of hate and malice because people did not believe the same way he did. after this on the road experience his life was changed, he became a follower of Christ and he became if not the most, one of the most prolific christian leader/ missionary/ evangelist who ever lived. all because of the experience Christ gave him on the road.

June 26, 2011 - Whats Wrong

June 19, 2011 - Become

june 5, 2011

April 3, 2011

Feb 7, 2010 - The Ministry of Healing

Feb 14, 2010 - The Servant 500

Feb 28, The Ministry of Testimony

March 14, 2010 - The Ministry of Holy Conflict

June 6, 2010

Sept 5, 2010 Yield