christmas past

december 25th has come and gone. it seems for the past month that i was looking forward for christmas to arrive but yet i was not prepared for it when it came. this year it just did not seem like christmas. with all the anticipation and excitement that one can build, there seemed to be something missing.

everyone around me it seemed were enjoying the holiday season as they talked about shopping and putting up decorations but i guess somehow i missed christmas. i blinked and it was gone.
as much as i could listen to christmas tunes and see the christmas pageant there seemed to be something missing. the harder i tried to make it feel like christmas the less it actually did. even with the world around me covered with snow, i just felt like "it was always winter, but never christmas."

i think i talked and wrote about churches canceling services and others saying happy holidays that i myself misdirected the anticipation of what christmas was all about to turn it into an even that needs to be celebrated the same way by every christian.

each year christmas becomes more commercialized and i complain a little bit more. while i do this i take my focus of the Christ born of a virgin and placed in a manger. so even though christmas has past i think today of the humility of Christ placing himself in the hands of a couple. even though he was God he cried and placed his every need in hands of someone else to provide the food and care that he needed.

one allowing himself to do this is obviously more humble then i. it was never about himself. he cared more for others then he did of himself. i pray even if i "missed christmas" that the incarnation will affect my life this year and hopefully the idea that God came to this earth to die will affect all that i come into contact with.

just a quick thought

i heard it mentioned last week that the vote in iraq was titled the "national unity vote"

why can't the u.s.a. have a vote like that?

a new low

this year we have experienced as a country some change due to the christmas season or should i say holiday season. i am not so sure. somehow the christmas tree has become the holiday tree and we are not eating christmas cookies. somehow the tolerance we had for other religions is starting to change how we celebrate one of our holiday's.

it is bad enough that in the past few years we have seen christmas become x-mas. which i read a few weeks ago an article in relevant magazine on "debunking christmas" and how it is okay to use x in the place of Christ. their reasoning for this is that the first letter im the greek word for Christ is chi. in the roman alphabet x is the symbol of chai. because of this they say x-mas is justifiable.

so let me get this correct x and Christ is the same understanding, oh wait, backing up to what they said is that it is the first letter of Christ. so in reality it should be merry c-mas. but even if x stood for Christ, most people in the christian world would not know that so how does the rest of the world see it. it is all about tolerance. letting people of the world control how we as christians celebrate our holiday.

and now of course we have this whole thing with churches canceling services on christmas sunday. so we can take time and be self absorbed underneath the christmas tree opening up our christmas presents with our christmas sweaters and sipping eggnog in front of the fire place. i do not mind the idea of spending christmas with your family but what is so wrong about making Christ the center of what christmas is about. it is named after him.

but today in the world christmas is all about presents, pleasure and pride. yesterday while driving in to work i heard this on the radio. this is the new low. it was an advertisement for "adult world-- where we put the x in x-mas."

this is where our tolerance has placed us. where we have no say is our own religious holiday.

37%

the last few weeks i have been thinking on the line of politics, in general, george w. and the war in iraq. i have been astounded by many news reports and blogs attacking bush. every now and then a poll comes out and shows what percentage of the american people are in support of bush. the last one i recall hearing was at 37% (this is how many people think bush is doing a good job.)

if you watch the news it seems that everyone wants to pull out of iraq. save the american lives. everyone of course except the american troops. sure they want to come home and get out of harms way. they want to be able to see their families and play with their children.

last night we had a marine surgeon speek. he showed pictures and video. he had a picture of each person who died in combat while he was over in iraq from his fort, with names and dates on each one. he said this "the overwhelming majority of military overseas want to continue in the fight in iraq, in order to achieve the goal. the goal of which to bring enough freedom so that when they do pull out, there will not be a civil war."

obviously they have a job to do, and to pull out now would only be hazardous to everyone in iraq. we talk about feeding the poor and rescuing africa from aids. but i ask what about the human life. when we can help stop many people from death. why are so many americans not willing to see the need in iraq.

and anyways where do these polls come from? i have never been asked. have you been asked?

the lake effect

for years i have watched news reports about 2 foot snows. i have felt pity for the people of this area and possibly thought to myself, " i will never live there." they get this much snow due to what is called "the lake effect." to read more on the lake effect go here http://www.islandnet.com/~see/weather/elements/lkefsnw1.htm

for the past two years of my life i have lived in south carolina. i havent even seen snow for two years. and have missed it. i miss the look of it (pure white), what you can do with it (snowballs) or what happens when a lot of it falls on a mountain (skiing).

this summer jenny and i made the move to new york. we can be at lake ontario in about 5 minutes. it is definately a beautiful site. but also with this move we now have the lake effect snow. two nights ago we had 12 inches. last night another 6 inches were added and is still falling right now.

there is something so fresh and new with snow. there are not too many people in the area more happy about seeing snow then me. i am sure eventually it will wear on me too. but for now this snow is nothing but beautiful.

united politics

it is really hard to for me to understand why it is republican vs democrat or conservative vs liberal. i sit on my couch as there are negative campaigns running in both direction. just this morning i saw an interview with john kerry and matt lauer. matt lauer asked him this question. "i read each of your briefs on troops exiting iraq, and it seems to me that they are saying the same thing." kerry fired back that "they are very different."

even christians do not agree with political issues of abortion, embryonic research, gay and lesbian marriage and adoption, capital punishment and war. i have been on blogs of friends and they are attacking bush. while others are patting bush on the back. personally i have never enjoyed a fight. it is just not my style. how far are we going to get when someone is going to disagree with someone just because he is a republican.

since the tsunamis a year bush sr. and clinton have teamed up. two people who have battled it out in a presidential race that got very heated working together for a common purpose. they did a such a great job working together they teamed up again to raise money for katrina victims. it seems to me that we do such a greater job when we work together. we get a lot more finished. we achieve the goal quicker then we could have if it were two individual former presidents.

it is time to come together. throw aside the things that we disagree on and concentrate on what brings us together. what is best for the u.s.? how can we best achieve this? is it possible to throw away all the titles of denominations... oh crap... i meant political parties.

in all reality the church needs to unify. not in the sense of dropping denomination ties. but in the sense of doing all we can to expand God's kingdom. eventuall denominations wont matter. why do they matter now? because for some reason we concentrate on the minors of following Christ rather then the core beliefs.

as far as politics the same needs to happen.

poverty?!

the other day i was talking to someone at church. he explained to me that he "almost did what i am doing. (meaning vocational ministry), but he could not take a vow of poverty." i really did not know how to respond.

there were however to reactions in my head.

1. am i living in poverty? i have everything i need plus stuff i could live without. i dont drive a mercedes. but even if i had money i would still drive a honda. even if some students do have a nicer car than i do. i dont shop at banana republic or wear other designer clothes. but i enjoy the clothes i have. sure i live over a garage. but hey it is a nice garage. and in a few months i will be moving into a 4 bedroom parsonage. i do shop at aldi's (a generic food store) but seriously is it any different then marsh or p&c?

im not really quite sure what poverty is. by this guys view i am living in it. but personally i really do not feel that i am . i am comfortable. i am clean (sometimes). i eat pretty well. and when it is all said and done jenny and i are saving money. in a couple month we will both have our college debts paid off. both drive nice vehicles that should last us quite a while (both honda civics).

i have viewed at least what the world views as poverty. i have been in villages where the houses are made with mud and the roofs with bamboo. i have been in their 1-2 room house. where if you had two rooms you were extremely fortunate. i have sat at their tables where they offer us enough food for them to live off the next week. i have seen and smelled the open sewer. this could definately be seen as poverty.

i have also driven around the area here in ny, and i see these houses that are falling apart and these small little trailers that have 10 people living in them and i wonder if there mom or dad used to work at the steel plant that was closed about a year ago.

i have been to a church down the road and see the poor, hurting crowd that attends there. and notice that they are doing samaritans purse operation christmas child and found out that they sent out about 300 boxes.

i have also attended care and share which our church opened up for people to bring in new and used stuff to share with the community (see blog below) and smelled the stench of the people there.

do i live in poverty? by all means no. am i rich? no.

2 i thought... did you feel called? did you run away from your call? ouch.

thanks

thankful- attitude in which one has gratitude

thanksgiving- action in which one shows gratiude

maybe this will be a typical blog for many this week. the showing of thanks that many people really skip over during the year to show their thankfulness during this time of turkey, pie and football. i know their are many who are thankful for the things around them. i get many thank you cards or words of thanks. but it seems that something significant has to happen to require those thank you's.

when one can go quite a while without feeling appreciated. it seems that during this week many people really show what they are thankful for. but why is it that we wait until this week to put our thankfulness into action by showing thanksgiving for lifes pros.

here is just a few things i am thankful for

1. religious freedom ( i do not have to hide what i believe.)
2. jenny (she keeps me somewhat level headed.)
3. family (even though they are a few hundred miles away.)
4. community (friends and a church where i feel at home.)
5. friends (all over the globe doing some amazing things.)
6. communication (internet, cell phone in order to keep in touch with 3-5.)

is there anybody else out there who is thankful? let's put some action to the thankfulness.

wesleyan conventions

in a month and a half i am leading a trip to go to logos5 (wesleyan youth convention) i have only been to one in my lifetime and that was back when i was in 8th grade. what i remember from this trip was skipping half the seminars and making fun of ray boltz. this was exalt 94 and some of you might remember this back in the day. obviously wesleyan conventions have come along way since then. instead of the slim pickings in christian music we have multiple good quality christian bands. the convention that we will be attending will feature pillar. we will also hear from efrem smith. i am looking forward to this convention. but i question to why they are so expensive? it will cost my teens about $300 each and we are only 5 hrs away from Boston. is it possible to throw a quality convention for less?

indiana wesleyan throws a youth convention every year and offers it for about $35.
bethany bible college has their booster for about the same cost.

now i am sure that the university offsets alot of the cost. but would it be possible for the wesleyan church to do the same with the youth convention.

i have mentioned barn bash ( a day long festival that our youth group sponsors.) this event takes alot of the youth budget for the year but we think it is worth it to have 1500 people come to this outreach and hear the gospel.

now what can we do about the cost before the next national convention in 2 years when it is in orlando? i realize these conventions are worthwhile. but is it possible to lower costs? what are your thoughts?

eternity

What must I do to inherit eternal life?

There are two times this question is asked of Jesus that I would like to specifically address.

The rich young ruler asked this question. Jesus answers this man. “You know the commandments,” and lists off some of the commandments. After this he tells the young man “there is still one thing you lack. Sell all you have and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come and follow me.”
The second is asked by an expert in religious law trying to test Christ. Jesus responds by “what does the law of Moses say?” With this asked the man answers Love you God with all your hear, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind. And, Love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus then tells the story of the Good Samaritan.

In another teaching by Christ he separates the people on the right and the left; the righteous from the unrighteous. He the talks to those on the right and says this “come you who are blessed by my father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you cared for me. I was in prison and you visited me… These righteous will go into eternal life.”

All these stories revolve around eternal life. They also revolve around helping, goodness and gentleness to your neighbor. I wonder how much of loving your neighbor is important to attaining eternal life. I wonder why there is a lot of emphasis on this concept in the scriptures.

Of course I do not want to take away the factor of belief and John 14:6. That is essential first and foremost. In fact all of these stories address following Christ and loving the Lord. But I do also know that faith without deeds is dead. It is definitely important to help your neighbor. I also want to stress the idea of loving your neighbor. Sometimes we do these things out of duty and the commands put on us by Christ. Is that loving your neighbor or is it just out of obedience.

Thoughts?

respect the past

last saturday i went to a syracuse football game. for those of you that do not know about su football this season let me bring you up to date. they are 1-7 with a new coach; george robinson. . this year the 2 quarterbacks alternate drives.

i received these tickets from one of the many people in our church that have season tickets. i guess he didnt want to see another loss. on the way to the game i looked at the tickets and saw in big print "respect the past." i started laughing and andy ( friend who went with me) asked me why. i told him what the tickets had on them. there really isnt much to respect about their present team.

now i do not now a lot about su football. i have only live here for three months. i did find out that jim brown used to play for su and donovan mcnabb played qb for them not to long ago. also back in 1959 they won the national championship. i can definately respect those three things. i wonder though how much "respecting the past" will get them into a future national championship in football.

switching respect over to the church. the universal church has has alot to respect with many people like martin luther, john wesley, john calvin, mother theresa. they have done many things for the church today. but i wonder how far we as the church of today can get just "respecting the past."

the church i used to work at has a storied past. they did great things. a former pastor was a gs in the wesleyan church. they had done many great things in the community. but for the past few years they have disconnected with that community and the former pastor is now dead. but yet the church still lives in the glory days of the past. i wonder where we draw the line of respecting the past but being active in the present to prepare for the future. how much of what we do is just to get by?

at the same time i think it is very important to respect the past. a lot of people have gone before us to get us where we are today. many countries before us were very evangelical at one time but have become very secularized. i heard a stat that only 1% of people in england go to church and the same stat can be said for a majority of european countries. the u.s. is headed in the same direction. how can we respect the past enough to change the decline and have a positive future. how can the local church and the universal church do this as a whole united.

riding a scooter

"Great power leads to an even greater responsibility."

Unfortunately for Scooter Libby this holds very true. Being the right hand man to the VP of the U.S. is indeed a great power and an even greater responsibility. While in the U.S. we are innocent until proven guilty I am predicting a conviction. Special prosecutor Fitzgerald obviously did his homework, and was right on when he said that no one is above the law. While purposely or inadvertently Scooter was in the wrong, there is a responsibility for his actions.

I am getting down off the scooter now. What I really want to discuss is the idea of leadership. Leaders are held to a higher level. Whether you are leader of the free world or a pastor of a Free Methodist church there is a responsibility that comes with the position. And you will have to eventually be held accountable for what you do with that power. Since you are in “X” position you will speak, teach and lead those in your work place or congregation. These people will listen, learn and follow you because you are in this position. It is very possible that you could lead astray if you are not careful with your words, or turn someone away because of your actions.

James 3:1 says “We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.”

Now obviously we are not perfect. We will mess up. We will say the wrong thing. But with a great power we do have a great responsibility to make things right. We are human but we are also in a position of leadership. And because of this we will be held accountable with what we teach. We do not have to be Scooter Libby but I am sure at times in our lives we all have been. We are just not in the position where it would be a federal case. But we will affect the lives around us.

So what do we do now?
Do we review our lives and see where we are at fault?
Do we act on our responsibility and apologize?
Do we ignore the responsibility?
Will we become accountable now so we are not judged later?
So what do we do now?

a letter to a friend

to the readers. this letter is for a specific friend. i am sure we all have some just like it.

gabe,
it seems so long ago that we were in high school. a lot of things have happened since this time to change us and mold us into who we are now. i am a youth pastor and you are pursuing music.

i always looked up to you back then, becuase you were so talented musically. i remember hanging out and listening to you play your guitar. it has been a couple of years since we last talked and my last memory of you is playing your guitar in church. the song was nothing but the blood of Jesus. i remember your testimony and how you said you were struggling but you were holding your faith together by the blood of Jesus.

i have still followed your music and every now and then listen to stuff on your website. i am saddened though to see where your relationship with Christ has gone. you claim God is distant in your life and doesnt really care. i am sorry you feel this way. i pray that God will draw near to you to make his presence known. but i know in order for that to happen you have to choose to draw near to him. start listening to his voice and to obey him.

i will always look up to you and will always try to follow your music. but my prayer is that you will find faith again and hold onto it. i miss you man.

hope all is well

built a house

Jesus took a while pouring His life into the lives of the disciples so they in turn would have a ministry that would build the church. now two thousand years later i am seeing people wanting to tear it down, to start a reformation, or just to seperate themselves from it. the church has been important for generations and has been used to be a hosptial for sinners and a haven for the saints.

Jesus approached peter after the resurrection and asked him "do you love me?" well of course peter says yes. Jesus asked him the second time, "do you love me?" and again peter says yes. Jesus asks again for an unprecedented third time, "do you love me?" this time peter is a little hurt replies again "of course Jesus you know everything you know i love you."

Jesus replies each time to feed His sheep. but the last time Jesus adds this "others will take you where you do not want to go." peters life was eventually taken as a martyr. he lived a life that was worthy even though at one time he denied the Christ.

where would the church be today if peter was never reinstated by Christ. would he have continued fishing? rather than building the church and feeding the sheep he could have spent the rest of his life catching salmon.

because of this Jesus built a house. a house now that is big, strong and there to protect his sheep. under the care of a shepherd they meet to protect them from the wolves and lions. so many people today are leaving the church. they feel they are better off. they feel that it is easier to be a christian away from the church.

and maybe they can but i know when a sheep stay with the flock and a wolf comes around the other sheep make noise as a warning to protect the other sheep. the sheperd will know whats going on and can do his best to help protect the sheep from the predator. i also know that sheep on there own dont stand a good chance on their own. sure they can find food on their own. the scriptures are just as easy to read as it is for the sheep to eat the grass in front of them but who will protect that lone sheep when they are off on their own trying to live like a sheep without the flock?

i think i am becoming legalistic

i am not sure why this is but i think i am becoming legalistic. in a way i think all of us are becoming legalistic. we are right... you are wrong. you need to believe this in order to have salvation. i have grown up a christian. i have always gone to church. i am striving to become Christ like. i have been in a constant pursuit of being a deeply devoted follower. and then i realized i have been legalistic.

usually the title legalistic condones we are the one and only way. well i have thought about it and i think i want to be more legalist. except i do not want to be a wesleyan legalist. i want to be a christian legalist. i am tired of being accused by the outside world as illtolerant of others beliefs. i think we as christians are very tolerant and loving. sure there might be some who are not but the majority of christians are. but i have decided for myself that i am done being tolerant of other beliefs. i will still be tolerant of the people. but to tell you the truth on the issue of christianity... i am going to be legalistic.

buddha didnt say i am the way the truth and the life, neither did muhammed, or jon smith. Jesus Christ did and i am going to stick to that idea. as for those people that once accused me of being illtollerant or a legalist, they are not jus accusing me anymore. i am a legalist

situation response 1b

i think one has to be careful in how he views any of these.

"why does the screen have to cover the cross?"

• well uh... sir, it doesn't. however we decided to leave the cross in the middle and the best place to put a screen for the projector is in that same place. (this answer might not necessarily be the best. or maybe it is.
• oh i never noticed that it did

"why do we need the screen in the first place?"

• i feel so inhibited when i worship with a hymnal in my hand. this free's up my hands to worship as i feel led
• everybody is doing it (peer pressure)
• you can use it for so much more then power point

"the cross is only a symbol of what we believe, do we need it there anyways."

• i prefer it to be there but a choice between the cross and the screen i would have to go with the... (either answer here could come back to haunt you, so be careful.)
• the cross only stands for death, why isnt the tomb stone Chrsitianities symbol?

stand by tomorrow to the conclusion of what actually happened

situation response 1

"why does the screen have to cover the cross?"

"why do we need the screen in the first place?"

"the cross is only a symbol of what we believe, do we need it there anyways."

these are three responses to situation 1. all of them different. why is it that we can have so many responses to one situation. are any of them the right way to think? does it even matter? thoughts... anyone?

situation 1: cross being covered

i am going to be starting a new series having to do with situations within the local church. some of these have happened in churches that i have attended, pastored, or other people i know have happened to. with each of these situation there are different responses that happen by individuals within the church. now i will make up some of the resonses and some will be real. but on your part i am wondering how you would respond in each of these situations.

situation 1 begins with a sanctuary being remodeled. (we know there will be issues with every remodel.) with the remodel happening everyone agreed that the cross would stay on the front wall of the sanctuary. now the problem with this is that during the remodel a screen was put in for the new projector. this screen would now cover up the majority of the cross. how did people react to this? how would you respond to this?

strength

i was looking out my window this morning. what i observerd was cars passing by, people taking there pets to the vet, rain and wind. the wind though is something i started thinking more about. how strong wind can be but yet it is only measured by how you see other things move. in my case, it was two big birch trees. the wind was moving the branches all in one direction like it wanted to tear it out of the ground. the meteorologist this morning said we could have winds of up to 50mph. the strength of this wind was amazing. to see it move this tree like it was nothing. i know i could not be able to move it like the wind could.

then i started thinking about the tree. how strong is the tree if it can put up with 40-50 mph wind. the roots have to be strong, also on top of this the branches have to be pliable and strong enough so the tree would not fly apart. obviously this tree would have a breaking point. i am not sure what it would take, but at one point the wind could get strong enough to tear the tree apart.

a couple days ago i was driving. as i was i noticed there was a tree that had fallen on a car. the windows were smashed and the roof had a big impression where the tree landed. i wondered how hard the wind had to be going to break the tree.

everybody, everything has a breaking point. the point where they cannot hold on any longer. some peoples breaking points will tear people away from their faith, family and friends. everything they once knew could be gone just like that with a decision to turn away.

i guess i have decided that in my own life i would rather be a mending point. i want to be able to help so people never reach that breaking point. or if they have reached that breaking point help them to be able to help mend the brokeness they feel.

as i continue to watch the tree being morphed by the wind i know the wind will eventually die down and the tree branches will go back to there earlier resting spot.

communited

i have been thinking a lot about about community. how is it made up? how does a church reach that point? how is one to now when a church reaches a good sense of community? i have thought about family and what it takes to be a family. why is family so committed to each other?the commitment factor plays a lot into this idea of family and community. family will always be there for you. helping you out no matter what. family can be the greatest sense of community that anyone will ever have. however in the world today families are falling apart. or atleast held together by different standard and possibly non existent. a family that receives the greatest sense of community is one that worships and prays together. everyone has heard the quote "a family that prays together stays together."i think this can be the same in the idea of a church. how many times are we apart of corporate prayer that is really united. people will pray seperately and in different groups but the only time everyone is included is during the prayers of the services. so we might here some prayer but can one really base that the whole church is praying together with unity and in agreement.i think a church needs more. to stay united and together, a church needs to pray in agreement. how does a church pray as one. the pastor clearly showing vision helps. communiction is a big sense. if we know where we are going but the laity do not how can we pray together. if we never hear the laity pray then how do we know what they are thinking. we need to come together and pray together.a chuch family that prays together will better benefit God's kingdom together

real church

the past few days i have really been thinking about church. what is church? what does it take to have church? what are the components of a church? what would Jesus say if he saw the church of today.

the other night at barn bash i heard many people say that "this is what the real church should look like." and "i think this is what Jesus had in mind when he thought about the church.

the barn bash vision is not to push Christ on people but to build inroads or bridges into the community t0 show the love of Christ through serving.

there wasnt a huge push to have commitments made. there wasnt a rule that you had to be at this band or hear the message in the cafe. there were however christians serving free food, there were christians having a bmx demonstration. there was an acoustic set in the cafe where one could rest, have some coffee and listen to christian music.

there wasnt a "sanctuary" that had a "worship band" with a "message." there were however people who loved, sacrificed, served and showed grace and mercy to christians and the non
christians alike. it was amazing to see Christ represented through tangible stuff. i know saturday there were more seeds planted and watered than i have seen in along time. people are talking around town about how great it was to have a safe place to go, to know that they would not get in trouble or harassed for being who they are. people felt loved and appreciated. when people said thank you for putting in on, we responded by thank you for coming.

we might never know the outcome of what happened through this church we happen to call barn bash. it only meets once a year but i bet has a lot more impact then we realize and will be the only church that some of these people will go to this year, maybe even ever. but the community, the love and unity showed that night was amazing. that is without a doubt what Jesus wanted to happen. he wanted us to display love and servanthood in these ways. and this past saturday we built more inroads into the community and had community with them.

i kissed leadership goodbye

in a world where leaders are king, just ask jon maxwell. i have decided to kiss leadership goodbye. to tell you the truth i am not sure why leadership was ever that big of a deal in the first place. yes we need leaders. yes churches need leaders, and most definately every organization in the world needs a leader. but i am wondering about the focus that has taken place the last 10-15 years on leadership. "everyone is a leader" i have heard this statement many times. but i wonder if everyone is the leader then who is left to follow these leaders? we need more willing followers and workers who do not care about taking the lead.

you might ask, well you are a youth pastor. arent you a leader? and i would have to agree. our world however is to focused on what i can do as a leader rather than what can we do together.

when you get a bunch of leaders in one group. then their is a possibility of too many egos flying around. when i am in a room of people i can pick out the leaders very quickly. they are the ones trying to gather attention on themselves rather than allowing another to talk and share his or her idea.

i do not want more leaders. there are to many leaders or at least someone who wants control. i am tired of everybody trying to have a say in everything. many people are over opinionated just because they have a label of leadership. and of course there is a reason they are in this position in the first place. but my cry is not for another leader but yet for more servants.

Jesus came "not to be serve but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many." in many ways he displayed this and while he was a leader in respect he was much more of a servant than any other title He had.

yes i do understand the importance of leadership. and in a way i see a lack of leadership in homes and that is what i beleive to be a huge reason our society is where we are today. but if there were more servants, we would have more humility and less hostility. there would be less talking and more conversation. there would be cooperation and less individuality.

i dont want leadership to go bye in the concept of it is not good enough. but i want it to go bye for me. true leaders are humble, serving and want what they want but i want to be a leader who is serving others not for his own gain but rather because i have a heart for people and a love for seeing growth in an individual.

so goodbye leadership hello servanthood. i will try to be a servant. one with humility and integrity. one willing to compromise with others and for the good of others.

my hope is that you will will serve as well

update: barn bash

you think preparing so long for this event would ready you for what to expect. i am not sure why i was so overwhelmed with everything that happened but i do know this past weekend was one of the most exciting things that have happened in my two years as a youth pastor. there were over 1500 people. not that numbers mean everything but word is getting out that the church cares for the community. when people start talking about that amazing things will happen.

kids in the way performed an awesome show. during the middle of the set dave (the lead singer) talked and you knew from the first moment that it was annointed. people there maybe heard the gospel for the first time. we are considering about bringing them back for next year already.

enemy opposition is a skate team that will blatantly show God's love through every possible medium clothing, video, performance and mouth. good stuff all around.

i am not sure if we will ever see the "fruit" but i know there was a lot planted on saturday.

prayer request

this week is the busiest week in the life of anybody at pulaski wesleyan church. for the last five years they have thrown a festival called barn bash. each year adding to its numbers. the first year they had it consisted of 200 people, building to approximately 1200 last year. this year of course is my first year and literally about 85% of the church is taking part plus other area churches are now helping as it has become something we cannot handle alone.
we will have 8 bands in all including kids in the way, nevertheless and long since forgotten, and other local favorites
we will feature an extreme sports team from buffalo
will have hay rides, cornmaze, blow up games, and food
this is a way for the church to reach out to the community as it is only a donation basis to enter and everything is free including food.

i just ask for prayer and sanity as this thing goes on. we could do a lot for the kingdom on saturday. if you are in the area come on by.

certain of what we do not see

can one be certain of what they cannot see? is it possible to trust that much in something that is never seen to be truth. well obviously this is something that is hard to be able to do. more people than not have followed this concept of 'if i can not see it then it must not be true.' this is the concept most people probably hold as truth. one of the only truths that there is has to be visible. and even in those circumstances can there be absolutes with what can be viewed.

yet children will believe anything you tell them. it is part of their naitivity and innocence. i wonder if that is what Jesus is talking about, "having faith like a child." being naive and innocent enough to believe anything that is told to them. was i like this growing up(with parents)? or even in college(profs)? or now?

having faith is not easy. faith can be best defined as "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." that is what makes faith so hard. it doesnt say faith is something that will be revealed tomorrow or that we will be able to touch Jesus' scars like thomas did. we cannot see and might never see the scars of Jesus. so for now we are stuck in a world without physical evidence of our resurrected Savior.

alot of converts today are children under the age of 13. is that because they are so innocent and naive that they will believe eveything told to them so they confess, believe and begin a relationship out of that is all they have ever been told or do they truly believe in their heart that Jesus is Lord. it is a hard concept for anyone to handle.

you might be reading this and wondering if i am possibly having a faith crisis. well i am definately not having a crisis but i now many who are. many who are falling away from what they have grown up believing and what they once proclaimed as truth. they see as a lie or at least that if God is so loving and gracious, why does there have to be so much pain?

what was once enough for them to believe as a child has now become tough. is this a problem within the church or an issue within the people themselves? did we not disciple them enough. and if we did then why are they falling away as i write this blog? is there a way to stop this trend. or is this bound to happen? i dont want to be convinced that this is what i will have to face as time goes on. as more people that have been poured into will eventually just dump everything they have been told and walk away.

going back to the idea of faith is "being sure of what we hope for." just makes us have to hope a llittle more. sometimes their is things that we cannot prove. as much as we read and dig perrper into the apologetics of Christianity. it still goes back to the hope, trust and certainty of what we do not see.

as i sit here and type this i am wearing a blue shirt, shorts and flip flops but I guess that you will just have to believe me.

desperation for critical thinking

i went to college as a kid from a small town, knowing little but thinking i knew everything. i had experienced a decent amount for an 18 year old but what was about to experience at iwu was eye opening for me. iwu had more rules then i had at home. but now that i have been a youth pastor for almost 2 years i look at some of the teens who have left and are leaving this weekend to start at colleges all over america. iwu provides a much needed structure for an 18 year old.

some rules i didnt agree with going into college and some new reflection on them for those who are entering as freshmen or are still so opposed to rules.

1. curfew for freshmen- 12 weekdays, 2 friday, 1 saturday--i really did not enjoy this. i would come into the dorm most evenings at 11:59. but obviously this is a standard not to off the streets but to help give you boundaries. who can learn by staying up all hours. by the time you are upperclassmen you will realize how important sleep and opening a book before 12 am is. also this is for the christian. when going to church after sleeping only a couple hours is almost pointless. are we not supposed to give God our best. if we are physically exhausted then can you worship well?

2. no rated r movies- i had issues through all of college with this rule. i thought the university was against us using discernment. but in reality they knew we did not have discernment. i do watch rated r movies now but very few. the value in most of them is low. but this rule really helped show me discernment rather than take it away. just in addition to this i watched "the great raid" this week. about a pow camp in ww2. really is an amazing movie of perserverance and faith shown through a true story of rescue and redemption. check it out. i urge every one. it is a little slow at first but give it a chance.

3. no dancing- actually to tell you the truth. i didnt mind this rule. i never did dance before iwu and still really dont care to learn.

i am sure there were more rules but these are the most talked about on the iwu campus. these help you to critically think about what is important and discern what is not. most rules are put there for protection rather than hindering someone to do something. and how you react to the authority is a clear indication of how one can and does react to God with the rules he has set forth.

a warning

how many times have you known something was going to happen? you have been warned by politicians, weathermen, pastors, doctors or other experts of a certain field that this will happen. it is inevitable. we hear the warning but do not do a thing about it, or do not think that it will actually happen. so many times we do not think it could happen to us. God will protect us and keep us from anything that we are unable to handle.

smoking is an example. doctors say do not smoke or you will get lung cancer. people dont listen to that so people end up suing tobacco companies because of the addiction that it can become. so yet another warning is put on the box by the surgeon general. warnings were created for protection.

new orleans is also an example of this. people know that there is a category five storm heading their way but for some reason they do not leave the area. maybe they thought the levies would hold up, many thought if they could survive camille then katrina would be okay as well. maybe they didnt have transportation out of town. (with 30-40% under the poverty level there alot of these probably didnt own their own vehicles.) maybe they thought God would protect them. but for one reason or the other they stayed against the advice of everybody. they couldnt leave their homes. it was all they knew and they had to stay.

we have many warnings still that are viable today. we have the book of revelation which says there will be an end of it all. we have paul warning us that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." and later him saying for "the wages of sin is death" and yet still "that if you confess with your mouth "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead you will be saved." but yet we stay where we are comfortable. we stay where we think we will be protected.

even the disciples were warned not once but twice that Jesus would die and three days later rise from the dead. of course someone objected (peter) someone betrayed (judas) and when it actually happened (jesus dying and rising again) the disciples were dismayed with unbelief and it took a while to recognize who it was. and then even with the testimony of the other disciple thomas chose doubt over belief.

and yet we have come full cycle. we still have unbelief. we still experience warnings put out there. it is interesting that these warnings are there to protect us. if you follow these warning you can have life and live it to the full. but yet people people choose the way they feel most comfortable usually because that is the direction that their friends or family are going.

illustration: the parable of today

i really enjoy a good illustration. both preaching them and hearing them. the illustration helps me to be able to connect the message and the application. sometimes people have a hard time understanding exactly how to connect the two. but with the story comes the understanding of how, what and why it has to do with their life.

Jesus was one of the best story tellers, then and now. he had a way to be able to connect to the people in ways people were able to comprehend and apply it to their lives. the last couple days i have been looking at the parable of the sower. this is about a farmer who spreads his seed on 4 different surfaces.

1. pathway- hard place, where birds were able to eat the seed while others trampled on them.
2. rock- while a good place to use as a foundation. not a good place to place upon. there is no place to be able to collect moisture and not soil for nutrients the plant needs to grow.
3. thorns-while able to grow a certain amount. it has limitations and will eventually harm the plant.
4. good soil- this is obviously the choice of where he should have planted all his seed. it would have paid off in the long run.

obviously one of these were able to produce a great crop. while the other three were not. while Jesus loves to tell these stories he also shares with us how the story can be interpreted. if he did not then we might have been left with more confusion and misunderstanding of what could be a great story.

Jesus explains that the seed is the Word of God. The Farmer and The Word is of utmost importance in this story. The Farmer is the providor of the Word. If it were not for him than the crops would never had a chance to grow. The Word is the provider of growth. Without growth there would never be a crop to be harvested. The different types of surfaces and soil show the difference in human.

the path shows one who is willing to hear but is also a bit hard to penetrate through the surface. because of this birds are able to eat the seed and is trampled on by other people and animals. this surface does not bring growth because the hardness of the surface. this makes the seed able to be destroyed. application is this: do not let yourself or your heart to be hardened. be open to the things of God and what he has for you. let the Word penetrate the surface of your heart to not only the knowledge of what God's word says but also letting it effect your life and your relationship with God.

the rock shows one who does not have much depth. with this lack of depth it is also hard to grow a crop. the rock is not able to collect moisture so even if something does grow then is hard because of the lack of nutrients. this allows one to grow for a short time but does not allow maturity. it has no place to keep its roots and to become big and strong. application is this: when once a little bit of something would be enough to help you grow as a christian their is not enough rooting you to continue a relationship with Christ. this might be because of a lack of discipleship. it shows a lak of commitment and desire to grow.

the thorns display that there are many obstacles that could be a distraction or hindrance to growing a plant. the application is this. when one focuses on an obstacle in front of them they are more concerned with the object than getting rid of the object. this can be worries, blessings, money, lack of money. something that will distract your mind from where it needs to be. when taking care of a garden it is important to take out the weeds and thorns in order to help the plants to be healthy.

when one takes care of the soil, you not only get a good soil. you get a good crop. the good soil is important so the farmer can grow food to provide for his family. this can be applied to living a healthy christian life with healthy beliefs. if we take care of our spiritual lives then we will yield a harvest bigger than what the seed could have ever done on its on.

healhy soil is important. if you are the soil then how do you get to be healthy. work and effort are a must. if not then any field can be grown over in a short amount of time. starting with the weeds and then eventually bigger hindrances like bushes and thorns. the interesting thing is it is your choice to take care of the ground.

spirituality in america

this is the new title on the cover of newsweek in stores all across america today. and also a piece covered by matt lauer on the today show this morning. i am somewhat distraught but not suprised at what this report showed. in the interview on the today show 85% of those surveyed said they were Christian yet only 75% believed that their religion was the only pathway to God. And 95% of catholics believed they were not the only way to God. even matt and the guy from newsweek were bashing on us saying that we need to figure out what we believe because the two contradict each other. also on top of that they were somewhat relieved because it showed more of a view of tolerance for other religions.

no offense to other religions. you are people whom God loves but i cannot come out and say that you are another pathway to God. it contradicts everything i believe. i love you and pray that you will realize Jesus Christ is "the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the father but by me." what is wrong with todays christians? can it be pointed to the leadership? are we as leaders in the church failing our calling? or or some taking their calling to an extreme and preaching what people want to hear?

another thing mentioned in the interview is that people are looking to what best fits them. they are looking at what is best in their own situations.

"The bliss Cox felt was mingled with awe—the Holy Spirit was inside his very own body. That helps explain Pentecostalism's historical appeal to the poor and marginalized: rural Southerners, African-Americans and, more recently, Hispanics and other immigrants. It is burgeoning in the developing world. "For people who feel overlooked, it provides a sense that you're a very important person,"

earlier in the article it alks about cox bouncing around from one religion to another. is this what it has come to? where one wants to feel like an important person. where some of the leading books sold are "your best life now." and soon to be "you've got potential, how God maximizes your life."

i however this article is not all bad. there were some very good things to be said overall. one it is a wakeup call for us and ho we need to focus more on the idea of absolutes. it shows us our faults but through knowing our faults it helps us now how we can change. the article closes out with this statement. and this is one all christians need to hear.

Religious revivals are always exuberant and filled with spirit, he says, but the true measure of faith is in adversity and despair, when God doesn't show up in every blade of grass or storefront church. "That's when the true nature of belief comes out," he says. "Joy is appropriate to the beginnings of your faith. But sooner or later somebody will get cancer, or your best friends will betray you. That's when you will be tested."

to read more from this magazine on this topic go to: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032542/site/newsweek/

something my teens did

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

through the night

saturday night i left michigan at about 8:30pm, destination- pulaski, ny. knowing that i would be on the road until at least 4:00am. i was not really looking forward to the drive at all. for one it meant me leaving a wedding reception full of friends and two i had just driven it the same route the day before. we had left 7:00am friday morning for justin and lindsays wedding. the trip ended up being a total of 47 hrs. 20 of them being in the car.

it was a great 27 hrs in michigan. catching up with friends, meeting new friends (fiances met since graduation), talking about memories and making some new new memories. ( i am rubber man, i am on a mission)

throughout this trip (the driving part) i had a lot of time to think. i ended up thinking about the people i was passing or the ones passing me. i wondered where they were headed physically but also spiritually. do they have a relationship with Christ. i also thought about what they were driving, how much did they pay for that vehicle. and i wondered if it were worth that amount. did they enjoy the vehicle or could they not wait for the chance to trade it in on a nicer model.

just thinking about how important peoples cars are to them made me wonder how much one would pay for salvation. how important is there soul? is it worth as much as they paid for the humvee or bmw. i like cars, looking at them, driving them, just not the idea of purchasing them. but what we drive can sometimes tell a lot about. if one drives a nice car you can assume they have a good job. if a teen drives a nice car one can assume that his parents have a really good job.

salvation is obviously not purchased but is a gift. however Jesus did ask the rich ruler to sell all he had, give it to the poor and follow Him. however the ruler walked away sad. the ruler had put a price on salvation. a cost that he was not willing to give up. why is it that the most important things in life can be turned down because of the cost.

i wonder if the ruler ever reconsidered and later sold all he had and given it to the poor and then went to follow Jesus. i wonder where that ruler is today and if he can say that he eventually made the right decision. i hope so.

it gets me thinking about people i have met in the past. the friends from high school who were in different religions, or did not have time for Christ and spent it worshipping other things. i wonder if it is possiple that they turned there lives around and have a relationship with Christ now. i wonder about others i looked up to and think to myself if they have slipped away and arent following Christ anymore. i wonder why they have chosen this path and if there is something to help them to bring back there faith.

understanding people is hard. knowing that they have been through some things and have put a cost to salvation is sad. to think they had it and let it slip away somehow is dissapointing. i pray for friends of mine like this. i pray someone in their life will help them out with this. unfortunately something made them turn away their faith. what was it? was it another person? was it the idea that God seemed distant? i pray for them and i pray for the same thing to not happen to me.

i guess that is the whole idea of trust.

friends

friends are an interesting thing. there will always be new friends, old friends, friends that you havent seen in a while, life long friends, friends for a season. i have recently just moved to a new place so i am adjusting to new people, hanging out in new homes and different restaurants. this weekend i am taking off for a wedding and will be able to catch up and/or see friends from college. so with all this going on i have started to think about friends of past, present and future. the different levels of friendships and how they have affected me thus far. in elementary you would play games, do the birthday party thing, have sleepovers. everything revolved around fun in high school you might start to have different groups of friends. church friends, sports friends, school friends. this would revolve sometimes to what season of the year it was. it would involve fun, discipline, commitment, studying and for the most part surface level friendships. it might be that you had a lot of friends therefore you didnt go deep with most. in college though things change, you are in the same community everyday therefore being with some of the same people a lot. so you really get to know more than just what they like but who they really are as a person. you do everything together and get to a level of friendship where there is not just a bond of friendship but also a bond that involves emotion where you feel comfortable to tell them anything and everything. this is a place of accountability, authenticity and community that you never thought were possible in high school. and then even though you move away from college you keep these friends. you keep in touch with them by email, verizon (the in network) and by scheduling vacation to see them. (unlike the high school friends where you would talk by email sporadically until it happened less and less, you would see them during college breaks and then maybe have less and less contact with until you eventually cut ties with. not purposely but you have less in common and you are headed in different directions.)

after college you have a sense that real friends are who you share life with. you have become so close to what will be friends for ever and then you are thrown into a world where there is less community then what you knew for the last 4 years at college. instead of being with someone everyday you now see them once or twice a week. they can still be good friends but what took the first semester (4 months)or less during your freshman year now takes about a year to achieve. not that this is a bad thing it is just... different, something that one will take a while to get used to. but in a way you are still longing for the community that you had in college. it will take a while to connect with someone on that deep level maybe ever.

all this to say that community is important. community changes over time where once in elementary we were okay with games, it just doesnt cut it anymore. we have been changed where the importance is the emotional tie of living life together, helping people get through the tough times, challenging them, encouraging them and pouring a friendship into a life dedicated to each other.

perception

the idea of everyone viewing something the same way is rare. sure i can look at a pencil and know that it is a pencil, and chances are everyone will agree with me. yesterday i was moving some staging and a couple of the guys mentioned hot it was, but i guess it really didnt bother me because i was used to sc weather. other people think that to live 2 hrs away from family is a long way but the past 6 years of my life i have lived about 21 hrs away. one persons taste buds might enjoy a pepperoni pizza but another might detest pepperoni. our senses, attitudes and ideas might be different than another. that doesnt mean that one person is right and the other is wrong. it just means there is a difference in opinion. now lets change direction a little with where this article is going. maybe i am a non christian looking at a church and all i can see is hypocrisy and how things need to be changed. i might believe in God but i want no part of the church because i have been hurt in the past. while someone else in that same church is growing under a discipleship class. loves everything about following Christ. it of course is the same church but yet the church is viewed differently because it is viewed by two different people. one perception of the same thing is slightly skewed from the other. but is one of them right and the other wrong? how can we as christian's help change the perception of those viewing the church as wrong or do we need to change the church from within. just a thought to get your juices flowing. i could of taken this idea and run with it a lot further but i want to hear from you the reader on your opinions.

new york, new york

when one moves, takes a different path obviously there will be changes. the changes will not only affect ourselves but the ones that we have moved away from. they will change the lives of those they come into contact in there new surroundings. families will be transformed, churches will be impacted and things will happen differently then one was used. change will always continue to happen. change makes us who we are and who we will become. change can be seen as a hindrance or we can accept it as a blessing. change can affect us for the better or we can become bitter. your life and mine will always continue to change. i hope and pray that we accept change with love and compassion. i pray that the people we can come into contact with will accept the change with love and desire. i pray that this change will not destroy our focus on who it is about. i pray that we will accept changes not as an inconvenience but as something that will challenge us and continue to mold us into who we should become. life is a blessing that we need to grab hold of and not let the small things that could distract us into being unacception, uncaring and undesiring to show love and acceptance of what is to come. we have just made the move from sc to ny. from the inner city to the farm land. from a smaller church to a medium sized church. from a place of security to a place of hope and desire. i am excited for the change. today is my first office day and it is combined with a funeral service. welcome to new york. jenny is putting stuff away at our apartment today and will eventually start the process looking for a job and get the process rolling of starting grad school next fall. my first service is on thursday (tomorrow). i have never had midweek services on thursday. i need to get used to that but it seems that everything here in pulaski, new york will be welcomed change. i have always been one who loves change, hopefully i can stay that way. hopefully when i start to feel comfortable here in my ministry with the youth then something will poke me in order to move. i dont want to feel comfortable so i invite the change. it is when one becomes comfortable that a stagnant behavior can begin. so i invite those who are comfortable to do something different. i challenge you to begin something new. hopefully we can stay committed with being open top the things of new.

a view from ben folds

this is the song jesusland by ben folds
Take a walk out the gate you go and never stop past all the stores and wig shops quarter in a cup for every block and watch the buildings grows maller as you go Down the tracks beautiful McMansions on a hill that overlook a highway with riverboat casinos and you still have yet to see a soul Jesusland Jesusland Town to town broadcast to each house, they drop your name but no one knows your face Billboards quoting things you'd never say you hang your head and pray for Jesusland Jesusl andMiles and miles and the sun goin' down Pulses glowfrom their homesYou're not alone Lights come on as you lay your weary head on their lawn Parking lots cracked and growing grass you see it all from offices to farms crosses flying high above the malls A longer walk through Jesusland Jesusland

in no way do i want to represent ben folds by talking about what this song means, but from my view point, it is a sad song. one looking at christianity and is saddened by the way things are going on. poverty is overwhelming but instead of taking care and training them we throw a quarter into their cup. you have the mansions that God prepared for his people but unfortunately no one lived the life they needed to occupy them. it mentions the televangelists that possibly do more harm than good. it talks about misrepresenting God in billboards and what i want to add; church signs. but yet there is still enough reason to pray for things to change in this thing we call christianity. we have a lot but are we willing to share it? while people starve we build extravagant crap that does no one any good. i definately do not agree with everything benn folds has wrote about but in a way it is good to see how someone views me and you as we label ourselves christians. their should be something more than changing our own life. obviously we must do something to reach out and change this perception of christianity. is it possible to change this view? is it possible to really change how people perceive christianity. i think in the past we have messed up here and there and will continue to mess up. is there something we can do?

weezer is back with "make believe"

not since 1994(blue) or some will say 1996(pinkerton) has weezer put out a cd this good. it is full of many songs that just elate you to think that weezer has finally come to a place in their music wher it has taken melody, lyrics and guitars from the blue album and progressed them into what is now a musically mature weezer. the cd starts off with the first single of this cd with beverly hills, this song is just ok compared to the rest of the album. with songs like "hold me" make me question the spiritual influence of the band. "I am.You are taller than a mountain.Deeper than the sea.You are. Hold me.Hold me.Take me with you 'cause I'm lonely.
I was closer to you back then.I was happier." great lyrics that probably are talking about a girl but i dont care. i know what is taller than a mountain and deeper than the sea. then in "peace" where they say quite often "i need to find some peace." the cd is also complimented by perfect situation, my best friend, freak me out. there is also a harmonica sighting in "haunt you everyday."

this cd is searching. searching for peace, a friend, possibly a lover. but also for purpose, direction, desire i am thankful that the weezer i knew in jr high and high school is finally back with make believe, making great music. i say thank you weezer. your fans are very appreciative.

next blog i will address the new song jesusland by ben folds

u-haul out of town

by this title one should be able to tell that jenny and i are moving. well that is correct. after some initial uncertainty about what might happen. but before i tell you where we are going, here are some of the ideas that we considered over the past 6-7 months

1. jenny being an rd at iwu (shatford to be precise) they were considering her before she removed herself from the process.

2. i going to asbury. then i visited josh and went to a class and decided not for me at this moment.

3. staying in sc to help with a church restart. considered this up until yesterday.

4. sent out my resume to multiple churches in maryland and michigan for youth ministry.

of course non of these things happened. things started to come together when i flew back home for my grandfathers funeral about a month ago. i ran into my home pastor from high school and he asked about my situation. i had told him that we just resigned that previous sunday. little did i know what he was planning. later that day he came to me again and said that his brother in law was looking for a youth pastor, and had called him about 15 minutes earlier and talked to him about me.
three weeks later jenny and i went to the church for an interview. it was a very good church running about 300. pastor bud fancy has 30 years of experience pastoring. including a short time being my parents pastor back in maine. the other assistant greg dakin is a graduate of bethany bible college and was a youth pastor and dyp before moving to new york a year ago. it is in a small town of 5000 very similar to the town i grew up in.
as for the youth group, they have been without a pastor for 7 months and in that time have dwindled in number. they really need some consistency and leadership. they have a barn bash every fall which last year brought in 1200 teens. this year they are bringing in the band, kids in the way.
if you are wondering where it might be it is in pulaski, new york. about 30 miles north of syracuse where jenny will hopefully be able to start graduate work in social work by january. things have come together really fast and at first scared me quite a bit. but i know this opportunity has happened for a reason. i just want to be faithful and be able to give it all the attention that i can from here on.
we will be finished with greenville first wesleyan on wednesday july 27th and we will be up in new york the following week.
please pray for us in this next journey

good bye greenville hello pulaski

prayer

i have been thinking about the concept of prayer lately. what it takes to pray, what it means to have a heartfelt prayer. i really still have no conclusions other than the whole idea of converstation between God and me (for some reason i do more talking then listening) but this next blog is dedicated to those of us who would like a better prayer life. this insert was written for the church newsletter that i am currently employed for the next 20 days. for those of you that do not know i resigned three weeks ago.

“Praying Well”

Prayer in my life has always been open ended. Sometimes it is hard to know exactly how and what to pray. Never really understanding what it takes to pray. No one ever really gave me a guide to say this is the right and the wrong way to pray. So for me to be writing something on prayer is not the easiest thing. But I want to talk to you about prayer. I want to tell you how not to pray and from that conclude ways that are okay to pray.

1. We do not pray to enhance our self. What good is a prayer when we are asking for God to bless us, to enhance our career, to pad our portfolio? It is not that God does not care about our financial situation but rather more concerned for our heart for others. If we focus only on ourselves we lose sight of what we can for others and how we can enhance the community of God.

2.We do not pray in front of others to sound godly. We pray in front of others so we can corporately agree with the prayers offered by the other person. There is something to be said when a group of believers come together and offer up the same prayer in unity rather than just a personal prayer time.

3. Prayer is not something to always pass on to someone else. This can be said for leaders within a group. What happens when a group prays together but never hears the leader pray? You can see into a person’s heart when they pray. More so than when you are just talking to them about a vision and purpose for the group of people. When a prayer is said you can see what is most important to them.

4. Prayer is not limited to certain times during the day. Most people will pray during the same time everyday. Maybe one will have a devotional every morning, pray before each meal and when they go to bed each night. Prayer is a continuous conversation with God. In reality he is always with us and hears what we say to our friends, our thoughts and really everything that goes on in our life. He knows our heart and will see through us to our core. Rather than praying and checking it off the list of things to do that day. Lets open our life as a prayer.

5. Prayer is not limited to us talking. In any conversation with our friends, if we were the only ones who talked. It could be very one sided, only hearing the opinions of one person rather than having a dialogue to see if God has a suggestion on the matter. Therefore we try to listen to God’s opinion.

Prayer will always be a work in progress. One week might be better than the other. But we need to make time for both personal and corporate prayer. It helps build us up. It encourages, challenges, humbles, leads, equips and helps us press on through the tough times. Prayer is something we all need; young, old, rich and poor alike. Prayer is the one common thing that we all have to connect to God. Music, preaching and opininions might drive us apart but prayer is what brings us together.

so that was the newsletter article, tune in later for some more articles on the idea of prayer and the conclusion of what and where jenny and i are going to end up in the next phase of our life.

about time

it has finally been brought to the boards attention that i will be leaving greenville first wesleyan as of the end of july. they of course were really supportive and said that we need to follow God's leading wherever that might take us. well this weekend it is taking us to central new york. not really my first choice on location, but it really does seem to be the right place. jenny and i will be interviewing for a youth pastor position at pulaski wesleyan church (about 30 miles north of syracuse.) jenny has actually been to the church before when she was on a summer travel team with iwu. she enjoyed the church and was able to stay with a family on lake ontario with jet ski's and a boat. i think if we end up going to this church this family would quickly be on my hang out list.
to top that i have virtually known the senior pastor my whole life. he was my parents pastor before i was born and they have stayed in a somewhat consistent connection with him throughout the years.
after only a year and a half here (it seems longer) i am ready to leave and put this church behind me. i will miss the teens, young adults and the youth pastors from the district. i love the city of greenville. i will not miss the summer heat. as this new challenge unfolds before us of finding a place for ministry i realize that i am somewhat intimidated about what God might ask us to do. to leave a place where we have been so accustomed and move to a place where we know so little. i have always been a guy that likes to try new things. now i guess i might try new york.

in memory of...

this is a blog on many different thoughts that i had, and things this past week. it might be a little choppy but it is not ment to be one continuous story with a lot of details.

this past sunday afternoon i received a phone call that i had been expecting for quite some time. my grandfather had passed away. despite the possibility that it might happen, it did not take away the shock that i felt. i thought i knew how i would handle it but all i could do was sit and think about papa.

i have always been close to papa. we have may shared stories of fishing, playing, riding the tractor and being in his garden. when i was younger i would go weeks at a time to go visit papa and gram. it was always a time that i looked forward to.

we took the flight to maine which was longer than anticipated (and by the way there are no more benevolent prices for airplane tickets) but we finally arrived at my grams house at 11:30pm. my gram was already asleep so talking to her would have to wait for tomorrow.

the next morning it seemed that everyone was in relatively good moods talking about what would take place that day with viewing hours and a meeting with the pastor.

we planned a service with the pastor as well as told stories of papa's life. it was good to here some stories of him that i have never heard before. one of which showed his prankster mentality. he put a plastic fly in someone's oatmeal. it got me thinking about how funny my grandfather was. he was always telling some sort of joke or pulling some sort of prank. the service would be full of music, mini-homily (given by me,) a special moments (an open mike) and a message by the pastor.

the first time i viewed my grandfather. all i could think is that it looked nothing like him. there was something missing. and then i figured of course there is a lot missing. it might be flesh but what makes the human is the soul and it was no longer with him. of course he looks different.
the viewing that day led to comments about papa like:

"he was a good man"
"at church every time the door opened"
"spiritual wisdom"
"love for people"

but the biggest comment of the day was how much of a jokester my papa was.

the next day at the funeral i spoke shortly on how overjoyed the disciples were when they saw the resurrected Christ. when they saw his scars and how overjoyed papa must be at that moment.

my favorite moment though were the special moments. people told different stories about papa. one of them was my mom's roomate in college. she talked about being a new christian when she went to the univ of maine at farmington and how much of an influence "boots" was on her in her early walk.

"boots" is a nickname my father earned when he used to play soccer with the boys ministry at his church. he wore his steel toe work boots and bruised many a shins playing the game.

other stories talked about clam digging, how he was more than a friend... he was a buddy, how meghann (one of my cousins) would never fall asleep in his parents arms but could in papa's, his dedication, his friends and falling asleep in a middle of a lake while taking (jed) another cousin fishing.

we then drove to the graveside funeral which is a story in itself because papa went there in a casket only later to be moved to be cremated. the pastor here said something i really like. "everything mortal of ernest would be buried." this goes back to the idea that i stated earlier no soul to be buried.

later the american flag was presented to my grandma. i wondered why this was because my papa never served. not that he didnt want to though. he really wanted to but he had a bad heart so was never accepted into the military. i thought that this was a good gesture by my uncle who spent 20 years in the navy. because at times papa would talk about how he wished he could have served with his friends.

as we got back in the van the song on the radio was todd agnews version of amazing grace. it was really quite fitting for the moment. just like the whole week. it was nice to be able to mourn, cope and eventually celebrate the life that papa lived and the life that he is now experiencing in the presence of Jesus.

taxes and death

some people say the only two things you will never escape are death and taxes. unlike taxes death happens everyday. today i received word from my parents that my grandfather has died. this being my first close family member who has died it truly is an interesting situation. i have never experienced this before. but my thoughts are not taken to me losing a grandfather but a wife losing a husband and a daughter losing a father. it has to hurt them much more than it hurts me. my grandparents had been married for 53 years. and my mother is 47. i am only 24.

my grandfather was a great man. he was the quiet silent type. not the in your face military sargeant but the laid back surfer type. he was the most laid back guy, who would sit and go with the flow. one time my sister put a head band on him decorated with 20 or so barettes. my greatest memories are of him and i fishing or on the tractor. when jenny and i were married last summer he was the one skipping out of the church. he was also the one dancing the ymca. he might of been old but he was full of life right up to the end.

the past 2-3 weeks he has been visited by a hospice nurse and could only get around with a wheel chair. i loved that man. he was the kindest most gentlest man that i have ever had the chance to know. it is sad to see him go. but i realize he is not suffering any longer. he is in a much better place. it will be hard for my grandmother how could it not be after seeing the same person every day for 53 years. i can only compare that to the ten months jenny and i have been married. my thoughts are with grandma as she deals with this. please pray for my family.

survived by a wife. two daughters. five grandchildren. earnest cook lived a life of love.

goodbye papa, enjoy God

camp

you know summer has arrived when it is time for sc district camp. camps start as early as possible around here. the last of the schools finished the 04-05 school year just this past wednesday. and this monday approximately 100 jr highers will be at table rock wesleyan campground to enjoy everything there is at camp.

i personally love camp. everything about it. when i was younger it was something different, get out of the house and be able to hang out with friends for a full week. and all that stuff about God was good too.

now that i am older. i still love camp. it is the thing that i look forward to the full year of youth ministry. what really is youth ministry without camp? the teens do not get the much needed mountain top experience. not to take away from the weekly youth meeting but there is something that brings out the teens emotion, spirit and joy with spending a week in a different place, with different people, hearing a different speaker.

did i mention i love camp. it is obviously for different reasons then when i was younger but not to far off. i love seeing teens excited. i still love the games, in fact one thing we do at sc camp is counselors vs campers basketball. in a way i feel bad for the campers (especially the jr high, they are to young) but i love to beat them so much. in the many years that they have had these basketball games the counselors are unbeaten. i want to say 48-0 but i am not positive. i love being a counselor. it is actually part of my job description with the church that i pastor at. i get paid to go to camp. what an awesome thing. when some of the counselors actually use their vacation to go to camp, i get paid to go to camp. three weeks of it.

camp is fun for other reasons like the poker games that start at midnight, the idea of not having to cook or do dishes for a full week, climbing the mountain, swimming, playing sports, oh and did i mention that our camp has a water slide! i leave sunday after the pm service for camp.

the only downside to camp is that this is my first year being married so i will have to spend a week away from jenny as she will have to work. someone has to bring home the bacon. i will see her on wednesday night of camp as she and some other sponsors will bring teens to the service. but it will be ok, why because i love camp.

letting down others part 3

james 3:1 "not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we will be judged more strictly."

last week i focused on different people in the ministry, whom i have seen fall. some of them i know personally. others i only recognize the name. these people were held to higher standards because of the positions that each of them held. each of them were teachers in their own way whether they were a prof, pastor or denominational official. we as humans look up to them. they are highly regarded because of what they have been able to accomplish in their daily task of life.

what i want to refer to in the rest of this article is why they are held so highly.

they are people in positions that people look up to them. and when one looks up to you, you are able to influence them. this influence will not only affect their lives but also the lives that these others come into contact with.

i am a youth pastor, so between 1 and 3 times a week i will speak to different people. i enjoy this time where i can challenge people to think out their views and also demonstrate my own. if i use this to speak my own personal opinions, preach heresy of some sort and through this one of my teens falls or it hinders their own walk than i am the one at fault. in james 3 where i took this passage we are influencers because of the words that we speak. we are able to help steer them with like bits with a horse or a rudder from a ship. our tongues are so small but effectively influence those around us.

1 Corinthians 10:32-33a "do not cause any one to stumble... even as i try to please everybody in every way"

i hope most of you have read this verse. this verse shows the freedom that we have when we are a believer in Christ. He allows us to do and get away with a lot of different things. but one with influence is put in more situations where he can stumble and therefore cause others to stumble as well. when we as teachers of the law only speak the word and then do not act on them someone is bound to find out and might stumble because of our actions.

paul continues to write in the following verse 34 to "follow my example, as i follow the example of Christ." unfortunately pastors fall and their influence on other people will effect those that look up to them because they have followed the pastors example. the interesting thing is that there can be times in a pastors life where they are not following Christ the way they should.

i wonder if for these reasons that pastors, teachers, etc. because of their influence if they are not attacked more by satan than the christians not involved in full time ministry. just a thought.
we need to check ourselves. we need to have times for accountability and continue our own relationship with Christ. most who have fallen have let these three things slide. we will be attacked more, tempted more, and therefore have more chances to fall. however there are many reasons why we need to continue perservering. one of them being not to let others down there by hindering their relationship with Christ. and even though we will be tempted there will always be a way out of that temptation. 1 Cor 10:13

letting people down part 2

previously i wrote about not wanting to let other people down. i think that is a part of us all. we want to please people and make them happy but for the most part we do not want them to be dissapointed in us. we want to live up to the potential that we have but at the same time we dont want to hurt another person.

it is inevitable though that we will let people down from time to time. and in reality we will be let down by people around us.

i have been let down a few times by different people but i want to dedicate this blog to those in the ministry that have let myself or others down in the past.

1. i had this youth pastor once who left our church to become a senior pastor. this didnt hurt but about a year later i found out his wife and him were going through a divorce. i lost track of him.

2. my first youth camp was one of my most memorable speakers of my life. about 4 years later he had an affair with a student. i believe this man is now a janitor.

3. my freshman year of college. the senior pastor of a church right beside the campus had an affair with one of the congregants. last i knew he was selling cars

4. my senior year of college. the associate pastor at the church i was attending had an affair with one of the congregants. also selling cars.

5. also senior year. denominational figure somewhat close to my father growing up was caught misusing funds.

6. also senior year. yet another denominational leader was caught in fbi sting operation meeting up with what he thought would be a 13 year old.

i only had a personal relationship with half of these people. and i want to stress that i am not positive that by these persons moral failures that they let me down personally. why? well i am not positive how many times the devil has tempted them in all of their own circumstances. i also dont how how hard the devil pursued them to get them to fall. i also do not know what i would do in their situation.

i am however disappointed in the idea that some of these people were unrepentive.

i am also disappointed by the concept that only one of these people received help from our denomination to eventually gp back into the ministry. maybe these people didnt ask or even want help but i want these people to know that they are appreciated no matter what they have done in the past.

by my observations i think it is more acceptable for someone who does not claim to be a christian. lives a life of sin, theft, drugs, etc and then commits his life to Christ and turns around and then feels a call to the ministry. we need to accept them so the can reach people that we are unable to reach. but why is it to accept someone who was a pastor or another denominational figure who has fallen back into the ministry. this is something that has been on my mind lately what do you think? grace, grace God's grace. grace that will pardon and cleanse our sins.

a new challenge for two as well as for you

i am what you might say a huge music fan. out of a desire to have a bass guitar in our worship band (our regular left for the summer, he is a swu student) and i wanted to learn something new. so i decided to learn an instrument. i bought a fender precision bass (the standard model) it has been fun and challenging the past couple weeks to learn something new as well as stretch the mind. of course i still have a long way to go on learning an instrument.

my mother in law also just started to take violin lessons. you got to give her props for that. i think people get to content with their knowledge and their ability in certain areas. it is nice to be able to stretch yourself for a change,

so i challenge you to find something new, something different that you have never been able to do and have some fun doing it.

letting people down part 1

i am eventually going to leave greenville. it definately will not be today but down the road within the next few months it will be inevitable that jenny and i will pack up the stuff in our two bedroom apartment to move on to our next appointment.
but what hurts most about is the people that will be hurt, saddened and missed. i think for me that is one of the hardest things about leaving a church. the idea that you might be letting someone down. i know i cant live life always wondering what people will think about one of my decisions and how that will effect them in the direct or even distant future. it happens, we consider the feelings of others. it is apart of human nature to want to win approval of your peers, to make people happy and not to have anybody affected by your decisions.
we have all been let down by someone in our lives. it will happen. i have been let down by other pastors, my parents, my wife, my friends. it will happen. but when i have been let down it has eventually made me stronger, wiser, hopeful and willing.
what is best for God needs to be considered. if you are letting someone down when God's best is at hand then it will all be worked out.

they will know we are christians...

the old hymn that was infrequently heard the past has been brought up into christian music once again. it can be heard on the new jars of clay cd. i also heard it at the audio a concert the other day. i like the song. people should know that we are christians by our love. we should be the most loving people on the face of the earth. i think christians can and do love really well. however, i think some of the people whom love best are not even christians.

the past few months with the tsunami i have seen people come together and help aid those areas affected. christians and non christians alike have stepped up to take care of those who could not help themselves. in this way i think the world is starting to unite in ways that have never been seen before. we focus on all the wars, the poverty, hunger rather than the good that is going on.

last night jenny and i watched "about schmidt" i love jack nicholson. the movie is about a guy who just retired, his wife suddenly dies and jack sponsors one of those children overseas. he writes to this child about all his life's problems. i wonder how many different places you can sponsor these children and how many childrens lives have been affected because of the money that comes in.

i am not sure what all of you are involved in, if you give money for a sponsored child in india, serve at a soup kitchen or even rake leaves for your next door neighbor. actively pursue a life of love. the book of james challenges us, jesus commanded us, now it is up to us.

sitting, laying, listening, looking

i am sitting here listening to my most musically talented friend dave rowe. i am sitting contemplating what God has planned for jenny and i. i know it will be "beyond belief" (any petra fans). we are definately up in the air in a lot of areas right now. here is the progress of looking for a new job. i was contacted by phone by the pastor from fellowship wesleyan in west seneca, ny. (no reason in particular but i do not feel that this is the place for us.) i have also heard from a church in easton, md. we have a schedule chat for tuesday at 2pm.

i have also been having trouble sleeping the past few nights. i have been laying in bed next to a beautiful woman wishing i could be asleep just like her. i guess i have a lot on my mind. well i guess it is not a lot. but the one thing of what God has planned for us is. it is amazing how that one thing can effect our whole life. i almost feel like i am graduating again with district conference being the graduating date. the good thing is that jenny and i are not worried. if we do not find a church by that time we know God will provide. i wouldnt mind traveling a little bit. this morning on the today show they featured a family who was taking their son on a world tour because their son will eventually (possibly by christmas) go blind.

i have also been trying to listen to what God thinks of this whole situation that we are in. i am pretty sure that he hasnt spoken or i am not listening intently enough. listening to what God wants is interesting. even thought i havent heard a tangible voice. i do feel that God is leading us away from the church here. there are many reasons why. maybe one day i will share those reasons. but for now i guess you will have to trust me on this matter.

i am also looking. looking at what specifically? i have no idea. but i am looking forward to finding out.

music clarifications

music fills the airwaves in my office a lot. i love music. not all music, but most. i have trouble with country, but some of the words in tim mcgraw's new cd are amazing. i also have a hard time with rap (even though it seems to be the rage around gville.)

i have always liked audio adrenaline. they are a good christian band that continues to put out good music through all the good and bad years of what christian music had to offer. they have really stuck to there roots when i think they could have moved over to the secular venue. of course we have seen switchfoot, p.o.d., and relient k smoothly make the transition as well as others.

this past sunday i saw audio a in concert i think for the fourth time. the other three concerts i did not enjoy them live. but sunday i was immersed in the talent and improvment of the band.

i have four classifications of music.

1. christian- definately christian lyrics, from the stage they proclaim the love of Christ and tour with other christian bands. (audio a, third day, delirious, shawn groves)

2. christians in a band. these are people who really hit emotions and everyday living that they face with a christian influence and perspective. they might talk about living for something more important than yourself and give all the glory to God. they might go to christian festivals in the summer but are more seen in bars, and other non-christian venues touring with other category 2 and 3 bands. they sign with labels like tooth and nail. (emery, anberlin, further seems forever, showbread, relient k, p.o.d., switchfoot)

3. secular- this music is not christian. there lyrics are about anything and everything. for the most part they are clean and have a lot of air time on the radio. (jimmy eat world, weezer, the ramones, softer, taking back sunday, sheryl crow, elton john, paul mcartney, bob dylan, counting crows)

4. pagan (heathen will work too) these are the ones with parental advisory labels, there is a reason for the labels.

1-3 for me are okay to listen to, however 4, be careful. listening to this might have eternal consequences.

music will always have a place in my walk, for fun, background noise and worship. i think everyone needs to know what is okay and not okay. music can play with our emotions. it can make a bad day turn around and vice versa.