November Awareness- Men's Health and Adoption

October 2010 Jenny and I sat in a Urologist’s office and waiting to hear the results of the test. We had been trying to become pregnant for five years, but we were a little passive, we said it would happen when it happens. But now that I was finished with classes and just two months away from graduation at Wesley Seminary it was time to be a more aggressive in our pursuit for children.

So now here we were hearing the news that we feared. Sure there was some healing that needed to take place, but in a way we had already known what the doctor had shared with us. I would never biologically be able to have children. It was painful but not as painful as I thought it would be. Maybe because I had already known what the results would be. Maybe I had already dealt with it and this was what brought the closure I needed.

 I am not one to dwell in the pain.  I am a problem solver. There is always a solution.  For me there was only one solution. Most of my life I have known people who were adopted. My Uncle David and Aunt Vicky adopted their two children Meghann and Jed. A friend in junior high had two adopted sisters. Adoption had an impact on my life long before October 2010.  

November for me is an important month. We bring awareness to Men’s Health by growing beards. November is also National Adoption Awareness month. In my case the first led to the last, for me they are connected. Infertility however is not the end of the world. It is not a sentence. It is just part of the story.

Adoption has led us down a sometime difficult road, difficult but not bad. Difficult roads can lead to redemption. Adoption has led us to two beautiful children. Tedy is now five years old and thriving. Our second Mae was just welcomed into the family six weeks ago. Seven years later we are now parents to two children whom we love and could not imagine a better story to be told.  

Maybe you find yourself in a doctor’s office being told news that is difficult. Maybe you are experiencing a surprise pregnancy or are being told having biological children is not an option. Can I encourage you to consider adoption as an option? Bethany Christian Services is the agency Jenny and I used and would encourage you to give them a call.

7th Grade Ignorance

When I was in 7th Grade I was stupid. Most 7th graders are. Sorry 7th graders. It can be a hard time. Hormones are just starting to attack, your body is going through changes you possibly cannot understand. I was dealing with 7th grade ignorance.

In 7th grade I got in trouble... a lot.

I remember having lunch detention for 2 weeks after I wrote some mean things about a teacher and someone discovered them in my desk.

I hit a girl in the head with a math book, was arrested for assault and spent 6 months on probation. I had to pay her hospital bill. Do not worry she is fine and we are actually Facebook friends to this day.

Back in 7th grade we had to have book covers to protect the expensive books. I remember making them out of the paper grocery bags. They held up well and we would cover them with doodles. I remember at the time some friends and I discovered this somewhat cool and simple logo to draw. So we started drawing it on our covers. It at one time was a symbol of good but in the 1930s and 40s it became a symbol of hatred. Yes my friends and I drew the swastika. I told you I was stupid. It was 7th grade ignorance.

I also had a friend. I played baseball with him and he happened to be Jewish. He told me what the symbol meant. I was ashamed. I had hurt my friend. I apologized and remember throwing the cover in the trash. He was good about it but the damage had been done. I however was no longer 7th grade ignorant. I had a responsibility to uphold.

The last week a story has gone viral starting in Iowa and is now national news. Some high school students  wore some KKK hoods, had a confederate flag, and a gun. You can see the story here.http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/iowa-hs-students-wearing-kkk-hoods-booted-football-team-article-1.3480890 They posed for a pic and posted it on social media. Usually when there is hate there is ignorance but we can no longer blame it on our 7th grade selves. We go public because somewhere at some point hate needs to stop. Sometimes it is in the subtlety of a Facebook post, not knowing all the facts, or not willing to budge from our opinions.

I have found that when I listen I usually learn. When I learn I usually grow. When I grow I usually change for the better. I change my actions. Change does not start through actions. Change starts with a change of heart. Changing hearts however is hard. I cannot personally do that. Only God can. Something as deep as the soul where we have this inner voice telling us we know we are wrong. Some may call this conscience, but I will add that the Holy Spirit leads my conscience.

We can never go wrong with love but there also comes a point where I must take a stand for God's creation. I am to give the oppressed value and worth. I must write about the Dreamers whose livelihood is threatened. I must support the refugee. I must do something about those in Texas and Florida who are suffering due to hurricanes. I am no longer in 7th grade. I am no longer ignorant of what is going on around me. I cannot minimize the pain and trauma that others go through.

I am a Christian, and a Pastor. So I see the world through these lenses. I try to view people as God sees them. When people hurt, I want to help. It is called empathy. Today my empathy leads me to write this blog. Tomorrow who knows. But I can no longer sit by passively when I see people hurting.