darkness

i stumbled across the cave while not even trying to find it. i had been in the cave before but it had been a while and before today i always had someone else with me. i had my handy little flashlight with me so i thought it might be fun to explore. as i walked in i received a chill from the cool, crisp air. as i walked further into the cave the darkness started to get darker then the bright light of the sun.

i remembered how comforting the light was. it provided warmth and i could see where i was headed. i knew what to expect.

as i looked back, i could hardly see day light anymore. i had gone so far in the darkness that the light was being overtaken by the darkness. my eyes were starting to adjust to the darkness. it is amazing the ability the eye seems to have.

as i began to go deeper into the cave i heard a noise and pointed the flashlight in that direction. there were bats lining the ceiling of the cave. although i was scared i still had the light which made me feel safe. as i went further the cave became narrower, damper and colder.

i started to become scared, the light of day was now gone and the only light i had was artificial and cheap. curiosity and adventure made me want to go deeper. i wanted to experience something i had never done before. so i kept going forward. even though i thought it was a mistake, i felt intrigued by the mystery of not knowing what to expect. it gave me a thrill and i didnt even feel cold anymore. my body had adjusted to the temperature.

and then the battery died.

Pete Ward quote

“The reason why people were beating down the door to get into the church was because the culture of early Christianity was seen as being civilizing and superior to the bankruptcy of paganism and philosophy. Yet I am not all sure we can make the same claim for what goes on in our churches today. Are we self-evidently superior culturally? Are people turning to us because we offer solutions for social and political ills? I don’t think so. In these circumstances what we offer may just turn out to be the equivalent to nailing our doors shut as we huddle together in the sanctuary.”

i stand by the door by samuel shumaker

I stand by the door
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world-
It is the door through which people walk when they find God.
There's no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind people,
With outstretched, groping hands.
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it ...
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for people to find that door--the door to God.
The most important thing any person can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands,
And put it on the latch--the latch that only clicks
And opens to the person's own touch.
People die outside that door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter—
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live, on the other side of it--live because they have not found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him ...
So I stand by the door.

Go in, great saints, go all the way in--
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics--
It is a vast roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms.
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in,
Sometimes venture in a little farther;
But my place seems closer to the opening ...
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them
For God is so very great, and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia,
And want to get out. "Let me out!" they cry,
And the people way inside only terrify, them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled
For the old life, they have seen too much:
Once taste God, and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving--preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door,
But would like to run away. So for them, too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not, yet even found the door,
Or the people who want to run away again from God,
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long,
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there,
But not so far from people as not to hear them,
And remember they are there, too.
Where? Outside the door--
Thousands of them, millions of them.
But--more important for me--
One of them, two of them, ten of them,
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
"I had rather be a door-keeper ..."
So I stand by the door.

Sam Shoemaker, founder of Faith At Work at Calvary Episcopal Church in New York City, in 1926, was also one of the spiritual leaders who helped draft the 12 Steps of A.A.